Zombies on the Brain!*

BY MINDI SCOTT

*See what I did there? 😀

Anyone who knows me knows that I have never liked watching horror or suspense movies. For the most part, I avoid anything that looks like it has the potential to scare me. The same goes for the books I choose to read too.

Vampire Duck

I can still clearly remember night after night as a child, lying in bed awake with my mind racing with thoughts of The Wicked Witch of the West, Maleficent in dragon form, and Those Gross-Looking Pale People Who Bite You. I also remember being age twenty-two and having to keep flashlight next to me while I slept. Just in case any dead people showed up in my apartment.

(Side note: Typing that last paragraph just reminded me of the time I watched Once Bitten with my cousin as a kid and later explained to my mom that the reason the main character had been chosen by the Countess was because he was still a virgin. My mom didn’t like hearing those words come out of my nine-year-old mouth, I tell you what.)

So when I heard well over a year ago that Courtney Summers, one my favorite authors, was getting a novel about zombies published, I didn’t know what to do. I want to read all of Courtney’s books forever and ever, but how could I read This is Not a Test?

this is not a test

In the meantime, I discovered that Emma Stone had been in a movie called Zombieland. I love Emma Stone and I want to watch her movies, but how could I watch that one?

The solution to my zombie dilemmas came from the book Zombies Vs. Unicorns. A friend gave it to me to borrow, saying that I didn’t have to read the zombie stories if I didn’t want to, but that I might just like some of them. I was wary, but I wasn’t reading anything else at the time so I decided to give it a shot. For the unicorns only! But I ended up reading all of the short stories in the book, and I realized afterward that I’d enjoyed a greater portion of the ones about zombies than of the unicorns.

Whoa, right?

After making it through those short stories, I went on to read The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan. I’d actually had the author sign the book for me at an event in 2010, but I had no intention of ever reading it. (And, by the way, I just finished her two other novels in the trilogy during the past week.)

And that was when I came to strongly suspect that I could probably experience more zombies without nightmares. I’ve since watched (and loved) Zombieland, and read (and loved) This is Not a Test, which might be my very favorite Courtney Summers novel so far.

It isn’t the zombies that interest me so much in these stories, of course. It’s the living people. It’s the desperate situations they find themselves in and the choices they make about survival and human connections. I love to ponder the potential metaphors about the zombies, and I find it all so inspiring–these stories about people who have to decide how just badly they want to keep living and how they’re going to go about it.

I don’t know if I can officially say that I’m a convert to zombie stories on the whole, or that I’ll ever have the urge to branch out to reading or watching another facets of horror.  But for now, I know that the trailer for Warm Bodies makes me smile and tear up every time I watch it. I can hardly wait for this movie. (And lucky Michelle has already seen it, by the way! She says it’s cute!!!!!!!!!)

What about you? How do you feel about zombie stories? Any recommendations?

The Good, The Bad, The Meh: The ‘Revenge’ Edition

By Michelle Andreani

For the past week or so, my nights have been filled with lies, bazillions of dollars, and ssssssssecrets. Par for the course, you might think, for a bon vivant such as myself. 😉

But not exactly. What I’ve really been doing,  in preparation for the premiere on Sunday (!!!), is powering through the first season of Revenge on Netflix. And HOLY MOLY. What took me so long?????? (Actually, this was the plan since I started losing track of the show a few episodes in. I’d just plug my ears to spoilers until I could binge-watch the entire thing, and then tweet my observations to people who were already like, three months OVER IT.)

I’m now up to episode 19 and I am on board, people. I am a passenger on the Revenge Express. And as wrapped up as I’ve been, I’ll admit there are some scenes where I find my mind wandering. It’s really no secret why: I just find some characters more compelling than others. Which, of course, got me thinking about writing. Continue reading

My Bookshelf, Myself

By Michelle Andreani

While wandering around the internet, I came upon an interesting post over on Nova Ren Suma’s blog (which is consistently interesting, fyi!). Following a prompt by author/bloggess Hilary Smith, Nova posted a photo of her (enviable) unedited bookshelf. (Well, it’s technically a photo of what happened when she ran out of shelf-space, but we book people can totally relate, right?) Inspired by Nova and Hilary, I thought I’d post photos of my own shelves. Here we go!

(Quick note: I cheated! Since my bedroom is super narrow, I couldn’t capture my entire bookshelf in one photo, so you’ll have to piece them together in your mind, Lego-style.)

(Another quick note: You can click on each pic to get a closer look!)

Fun facts:

  • I used to call one of these shelves my “Happy Shelf” (because it sat right above my computer and would sprinkle inspiration on me when I wrote). But then the books that made me happy couldn’t be contained to just one shelf, so the label has been retired. 😉
  • Another shelf has my absolute favorite inscriptions by the authors who signed their books. (Can you guess which?)
  • THESE ARE SO NOT ALL OF MY BOOKS.

Okay . . . judge me. 😉

The Ten-Year Engagement

By Michelle Andreani

When Mindi and I were first putting this blog together, we started by working on our Who? page. (It’s a good one; I recommend it.) And I was astounded when Mindi mentioned that we’d taken our first online writing course six years ago. SIX YEARS AGO!

To put that into perspective, I could’ve gone to medical school 1.5  times in the space between my first YA writing class and this very minute.

And, of course, I couldn’t help but calculate further back. Because the novel idea I worked on in that 2006 course? I’d been working on that idea since the summer of 2002. And I’m still working on it. (Welp!) So, really, I’ve been working on that one particular novel for . . . *click clack calculator* . . .  ten years. TEN YEARS!

To put that into perspective: I COULD BE A CARDIOLOGIST RIGHT NOW, GUYS.

Well, anyway. The truth is I’d never given myself an expiration date with writing, or measured my “career” in years. I measured it by other peoples’ successes! HA-HA.  Jokes! But seriously. I was someone who worried about getting an agent/being published/all that in a theoretical way. “If it happens, it happens!” “It’ll happen when it happens!” “It can’t happen if you don’t finish this g-d book, Michelle!” Calm, casual stuff like that.

But now, I’d gone and slapped a number on it. Ten! A big number. A big anniversary. (Also the aluminum anniversary! Not that you have to get us anything, but how kind of you to offer.) Ten years of writing and, well, nothing to show for it.

*thunderclap*

The idea seemed like Loki feels.

But! Also like Loki, it wasn’t exactly what it seemed. (Totally nailed that transition.)

See, I could wallow all I want, but it would be false-wallowing. Because the more I thought about it, it was really like:

  • Ten years of writing and a manuscript that’s infinite-times better than it ever was.
  • Ten years of writing and sooooo many wonderful, generous, supportive people I know because of it.
  • Ten years of writing and, okay there was misery-on-steroids 2010, when we were gonna quit, but we didn’t. We came back stronger! Like Michael Myers!
  • Ten years of writing and so much more left to write.

And that, I think, is what this anniversary is all about. Not so much the second half of that sentence, but the first half. The “Ten Years of Writing” half. Ten years is a long time to be doing anything — to be in the same apartment or job or relationship. Not many are lucky enough to celebrate that. How many are excited about ten more years?

The way I see it, it’s not getting the book deal or signing with the agent that wills a writer to keep writing. It’s inside them always. It’s inside me. And I never wanted to be a cardiologist, anyway. 😉

Oh, let’s face it. We all want to listen to The Climb now.

Remember that one time when I reprogrammed my brain with misinformation?

BY MINDI SCOTT

A few weeks ago, I was preparing egg salad for my husband’s sandwiches when I noticed that the ingredients list called for three tablespoons of one item and a quarter cup of the next.

Commodity fetishismWell, I thought, I’m not sure how much I trust a recipe that can’t even keep the measurements consistent. Everyone knows that three tablespoons and a quarter cup are the same thing!

Even though I knew for an absolute fact that I was right, I checked the conversion chart that I keep posted on my fridge. And guess what! I was wrong. It’s actually four tablespoons that’s equivalent to a quarter cup.

I think I used to know the correct answer, but somewhere along the way I misremembered. It makes me wonder now how many meals I’ve made that turned out not quite right as a direct result of me adding one too many or one too few tablespoons of something.

That little kitchen experience was humbling. It also reminded me of the Each Other Vs. One Another Fiasco of 2012.

For months, I took special care in my writing (fiction and personal correspondence), to make sure that I always used “one another” when discussing two people and “each other” when discussing three or more. (Examples: Everyone on the team talked to each another. William and I talked to one another.)

When copy edits came back for my second book, the copy editor had made notations about incorrect usage of these terms. My thought was that this copy editor was very, very mixed up.

As I read more of  my draft, someone (that same copy editor or another?) made notes that this was clearly a style choice, since the author (me) had done it backward consistently throughout the draft. “Stay true to Coley’s voice,” was written in the margin on one page.

You’d think that those notes would have made me investigate, but no. I sent the draft back, leaving every “each other” and “one another” the way I’d written them. Because I knew what I was doing, even if the copy editors were confused.

It wasn’t until a few days later when I started thinking about it more. I was reading a novel written by someone else and I noticed that the author had every instance of “each other” and “one another” COMPLETELY WRONG. I went looking for confirmation that my way was right.

Surprise!
That’s when I realized that I was the one who had it backward: Everyone on the team should talk to one another and William and I should talk to each other.

In a panic, I emailed my editor and told her what had happened. She was able to fix it* with no problem at all, but it was certainly embarrassing for me. It’s taken months of retraining my brain and I still have to ponder for a bit to make sure that I’ve written it correctly.

Before copy edits on my first novel, I hadn’t been aware that there is a difference between “one another” and “each other.” It’s kind of funny (but not really!) that I was trying so hard to get it right, but managed to do the opposite.

You learn something new every day, right? And sometimes you get to relearn something because your brain went and changed it on you.

*FYI: While writing this particular character, I opted for mostly grammatical correctness in the narrative. But with dialogue, I definitely went for what realistic to the way the characters would speak. This means that “one another” didn’t make it into the dialogue ever–whether it would have been correct or not.

5 Best-ish Moments: A Non-Committal List

By Michelle Andreani

Following Mindi’s (and Charlie’s) example of listing their 5 Best Moments, I’ve come up with my own! I’m calling my list the 5 Best-ish Moments of My Life. Not that these don’t qualify as Best (no -ish) Moments, because they do! And I’m so very lucky to have them and snuggle with them on the hard days. But it’s just tough to commit sometimes, so this is my way of wiggling out of it. 😉

So, here we go!

The 5 Best-ish Moments of My Life 

December 19, 2004: College Graduation

College was not the most well-spent four years of my life. I mean, I met wonderful friends, took fun classes, and ate an entire Entenmann’s Chocolate Chip Loaf while watching Buffy in my dorm room. So, you know, not a total waste. But I also had zero idea what I wanted to do post-college, and this made caring about my classes a non-issue, and panic attacks a common thing. By senior year I knew-ish that I wanted to write (back then it was for TV), but it was way too late to switch things up (I was already feeling the crushing weight of my student loans). So, I chose a major in the subject where I’d wracked up the most credits, and got the go-ahead to graduate! Happy day!

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October 24, 2001: U2, Elevation Tour, Madison Square Garden

In the fall of 2001, my hometown was unlike anything I’d ever imagined. In the midst of all this, my cousin and I had tickets to see U2 in concert. Now I can’t remember if I was nervous about being in such a big crowd, or how extensively we were searched before we were allowed into MSG. But I do remember how it felt being in that arena, so symbolic of New York City, with people who were feeling what I was feeling. People who knew what it meant to be there, together, healing and singing and screaming and chanting “Let’s Go Yankees” at one point. And mostly I remember the moment when the band played “One,” and a list of names began scrolling. (I still get chills whenever I think about it.)


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Sometime in Seventh Grade: I Refused to Be a Shrew

I’m kind of bummed that I don’t remember the exact date this happened because it most certainly is one of those Big Moments. But in seventh grade, two of my closest friends turned into total harpies. I was considered a “nice girl” and they took this as permission to torture me daily because I probably wouldn’t argue back. IT WAS SO AWFUL. Being humiliated at the hands of two people who were supposed to be on my side. (See also: my trust issues.) But finally (finally, finally, finally), while we were working on group projects in class, I’d had enough. I stood up for myself. I told them not to bother talking to me again, got up from my desk, and left them, jaws dropped. I still remember the “way to go, Michelle” look on a classmate’s face as I did this, and the relief and pride that coursed through me. Nice girls aren’t pushovers, you see. 😉

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October 1-9, 2010: California (Love) Trip

This is sort of a cheat because California was not one but Very Many Best Moments, but, really, why choose? And while I’m chock full of neuroses like any good New Yorker, I’ve always felt like a teeny part of me belonged to California. Which is stupid! I’d never been to California! But I’ve always felt that certain people are drawn to certain places for inexplicable reasons, and California is one of my places. So, obviously, I jumped when I got the chance to go. And it was AMAZING. I ate fish tacos in Laguna Beach! I took surfing lessons in San Diego! I fell in love with Santa Monica, and the tiny cafe near our motel, and with all the newness of California, it still felt a little bit like coming home. (But NYC is cool with it!)

I’m at Sunnydale High!! Xander fell down those steps!

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Mid-2007: A Good Writing Moment

I did a lot of writing after college graduation, but I wasn’t sure if YA novel writing was something I should pursue as more than a hobby. So, I decided to take an online writing class through MediaBistro and let me tell you, it was TERRIFYING. There were so many talented writers and, along with them, so many great ideas for their books. Better than me and mine, for sure! Still, I was learning so much that each compliment and criticism felt like money in the bank. In that class my instructor and classmates made me believe a writing career could happen. For me! For real! I remember pulling a coat from my closet and reflecting on the class when I thought how this was an incredible overlap of something I loved to do and something I could do. How rarely that happens. And it’s a feeling I pull up on the hardest of writing days, one that’ll stick with me no matter where my career goes (or doesn’t go!).

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So, these are my moments. *hugs moments* You can tell me your (tentative) list now . . . I won’t hold you to it. 😉

The 5 Best Moments of Your Pathetic Excuse for a Life

BY MINDI SCOTT

I used to watch LOST, and one of the episodes that has really stuck with me over the years is called “Hit List.” In this episode, Charlie makes a list of the “Five Best Moments of [His] Pathetic Excuse for a Life,” and every item he adds triggers a flashback.  (Of course.)

Shortly after it originally aired in 2007, I made up a list of my own. But recently, I was compelled to create a new list. As it turns out, only one of the memories from the original list made the cut.

And here is my new list!

The Five Best Moments of My Life, Revised

(Note:  Some of these have links to the original journal entries that I made right after they happened, including one that has never been public before!)

A
5. May 16, 2003: The day Dwayne (my husband) and I went to Discovery Cove in Florida. 

Flashback:  We swam with a dolphin (in a very supervised/photo-op way) and with (non-dangerous) sting rays! Such a relaxing and amazing experience.

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4. October 31, 2008: The night Dwayne and I watched the volcano.

Flashback: Dwayne and I were on Hawaii’s Big Island and took an impromptu trip to see the active volcano spewing lava into the air and the ocean at nighttime. We didn’t have any warm clothes in our rental car at the time, so I bought knee-high socks that said, “Grandma” all over them and wore them with my shorts.

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3. March 17, 2008: The night when Dwayne and I saw Nightmare of You for the first time.

Flashback:  Dwayne and I were obsessed with the band Ash. So obsessed that we flew to New York City for a rare show in the U.S.  to see them! Ash’s performance turned out to be really great. The whole trip was great, actually! But it was the opening band Nightmare of You, who really caught our attention and amazed us.

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2. Early November 2002: The day that I sat on an empty beach in Mexico, reading a book and getting horribly sunburned on my legs.

Flashback: Dwayne and I had been married for a year when we flew to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico for vacation with friends. The three of them went surfing, but I read on the beach all day long. I honestly don’t remember what I was reading. They were mysteries or romance novels that I’d picked up at the resort where we were staying. But for reasons that I still can’t explain, I felt so at peace and happy that day. (Little did I know that my legs would peel for a month after I got home!)

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1. January 6, 2009: The day a literary agent, Jim McCarthy, called me to offer representation.

Flashback: When I started writing, my goal was never to get published. That felt too big and too much out of my control. No, my goal was to get an agent to represent me and, hopefully, one day I’d get published as a result of that. After two manuscripts and well over 100 rejections, I finally got an agent. My first book deal came a few months later. There have been lots of great writing/publishing moments, but I’m honestly not sure that anything will ever top the time that a professional literary agent decided to take a chance on me.

Photobucket

A few hours after Jim’s call, in the outfit I’d been wearing all day.

As you can see, my top two moments involve reading and writing. And, as I pointed out to Dwayne, only one of these took place in Washington State, where we live. This must mean something . . .

Now, if this were the olden days of the internet, I might tag people and guilt-trip them into completing this meme. (But probably not.) I’m not going to do that, but I would absolutely love to hear about your Top Five, Top Three, or Top Some Other Number Moments in your life.

And stay tuned later this week for Michelle’s list!

Reader Behaving Badly

by Michelle Andreani

The other day, on Twitter, I had a short conversation with a lovely writer/reader. She’d confessed to skipping ahead in her book to see what was going to happen, and I assured her I’ve done it too. Because (NO REGRETS) I have! In fact, I’d just told Mindi earlier that week that I’d skimmed the last few pages of Jenny Han’s WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE SUMMER before I was halfway through the book.

I had to. 

I was so invested, SO NERVOUS, that I could not go on without knowing how it all ended. (And that’s a risk in and of itself, because if it didn’t turn out as I wanted, could I even continue on??) It’s not the first book I’ve skipped ahead on, and it certainly won’t be the last. It’s just that sometimes I need a guarantee that everything’s going to be okay. And that You-Know-Who and You-Know-Who will be 4-eva in love.

No denial here; it’s a Bad Reading Habit. Thankfully, it’s not one I give into too often. (And not to pat myself on the back, but I totally resisted skipping ahead this week while reading Kendare Blake’s GIRL OF NIGHTMARES — and I’m so glad I did.) (PS: Cas and Anna 4-eva.)

But, sadly, I have another Bad Reading Habit and it’s wayyyyyyy worse. Plus it’s such a weird one, you guys. It’s the long-lost cousin of the Did-Not-Finish, because while it resembles DNF, it is so much less . . . sensible.

See, I’ll be completely sucked into a novel, enjoying the world, loving the characters, and life is goooooood. But when things start looking sketchy, and the book’s climax approaches, I STOP READING. I put the book down! Even though I’m dying to know how the story turns out, I’m too nervous or concerned or scared to see these characters through their tough times. Their tough times become my tough times and it’s too much!

Only Joey Tribbiani can possibly understand!

 

The good news is that, unlike the DNF, I do go back into that world. I pick up the book, remove the CVS receipt I’ve been using as a bookmark, and make sure the characters make it through to the other end. I don’t give up completely; I just needed the break.

So, yep, I sometimes behave badly while I’m reading. And I wonder if authors would find that obnoxious; that I read their last lines too early, or step away from their book to regroup. But it’s only because I’m so in love with the author’s story, their characters, and how it all turns out. I want these people they’ve created to be happy. And that’s gotta be a little flattering, right? 🙂

Joey and I can’t be the only ones . . . Tell me your Bad Reading Habits! Solidarity!

Crushes on Boys (and stuff)!

BY MINDI SCOTT

I was always a girl who had many crushes on boys. In school, from kindergarten on, there was always at least one boy with whom I was “in love.” By the time I got to high school, I was often crushing on someone in each of my classes!

Over the years, I’ve also been affected in the racing-heart/sweaty-palmed/ beyond-distracted way by some strange things, like . . .  a car that was at the park & ride I used to go to. An old, beat-up Chevy Nova. Dark yellow.

Sexy, kind of?

Also, the name Rhys/Reece/Reese makes me all dreamy. It can be a first (preferred), middle, or last name. But the magical, tingly feelings only appear for me if the name belongs to a male (and not a female. Or a type of candy).

Yum! But I can contain myself.

Then there’s always Anakin Skywalker from The Clone Wars CGI cartoon, of course. Every episode in which he appears, I turn to my husband at some point and say, “He’s so hot.”

Another unexpected crush I had once was on Cassandra Clare’s fan-fic version of Draco Malfoy. I was so smitten that I decided back then the song “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs was all about us: “They don’t love you like I love you.”

And, of course, I have had dozens and dozens of crushes on actors, musicians, and fictional characters from books and television. It’s normal. I’m fine with it. It’s fun, even!

But you know who I don’t get crushes on?

The male narrators in the books that I write.

In my first published novel, I found Seth to be a very attractive young man and I loved writing him. I have immense fondness for him to this day. Truly, I adore that boy, and I’ve had readers tell me that they feel the same way.

But the very idea of Seth + me = NUH UH. NO WAY. NEVER. *SHUDDER* *SOB*

I’ve recently alluded to, but never actually explained, the Garrett Hedlund (I swear, this is the last time I’ll type his name in this blog, Michelle!) craziness that’s been happening around here. Short story: Kyle, the narrator I’m writing in this book that Michelle and I are working on together resembles a young, blond GH. And somehow, Michelle and I both started crushing on GH in a big way.

For Michelle, this is not a bad thing at all! (Well, maybe she thinks so. But I don’t.)

But it is a bad thing for me. Having racing-heart/sweaty-palmed/beyond-distracted feelings for one’s narrators really works for some writers. I am not one of them. I need to love my characters completely to write them effectively. I also need to love them . . . chastely.  I can’t entirely explain why, but that’s how I feel. How can I lust for someone I know inside and out, who exists in the pages that I write simply because I decided that he should exist?

It is for this reason that I’ve now been avoiding GH movies and the millions of pictures of him on the internet. (But ZOMG! Have you guys seen this one? Where he’s in an old car? Reading a BOOK???? Ahem.)

It took a couple of weeks of hard work at GH avoidance, but I’m now able to totally separate my sad, adorable, funny, young Kyle from him. I have to be diligent though! I CANNOT SLIP UP ON THIS, YOU GUYS. Or who knows what will happen.

I’d love to hear about your crushes! Any weird ones that we should all know about? Any writers out there who want to tell us about the crushes you get (or don’t get) on your own characters? 🙂

The Fine Art of Procrastination

By Michelle Andreani

You may hear people say that publishing is a slow business; and it is, in its own way. Writing a book, it seems, can also be a slow business — unless you’re one of those writers who can whip up a first draft in two weeks, in which case I’m convinced you drank from an iffy public fountain at a young age and now you don’t have wholly human blood flowing through your veins. Seriously, get tested!

Oh, I kid. Out of envy, you see!

Because I write sloooooooowly. It’s my one problem as a writer — hahahaha. I mixed up those words. It’s one OF my problems as a writer, my inability to turn off the inner-editor, to writewritewrite without worrying if it’s all good enough. To be stunted by this fear. It’s frustrating and often paralyzing when you’re so anxious to spill out a story, and all that’s staring you in the face is this:

Shut up, blinking cursor!

Terrifying. Who wants to deal with that? Today of all days?? You, neither? Excellent! We’ll be much clearer-headed tomorrow, anyway, right?!

SIDEBAR: There are a ton of ways to procrastinate, like reading books and social networking and watching The Social Network and jumping every time your email dings, even though you know it’s just another Groupon for 83% off laser hair removal. Those are typical tools for avoiding work, but sometimes you need a little variety. And that’s what I’m here for! Not that you should follow my lead or consider this a guide. Oh, no.

I certainly do not condone procrastination. *smiles at Mindi*

That said, let’s procrastinate!

1.) We Should Definitely Browse Goodreads: It’s not really wasting time if you’re looking for another book to read! And you’re making an author happy by adding their book to your To-Read list, so yay! But beware: Goodreads is not without danger. You’re bound to stumble upon a book that sounds eerily like the one you’re writing but waaaaaay better. Then your resulting misery will be compounded by the fact that you’re procrastinating while this person wrote your book faster (and better), NOT THAT I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE.

2.) Wanna Start a Lip Balm Collection?:

3.) Try to Remember the Title of that Book You Read Like 5 Years Ago, the One with that Girl Character in It . . . Ugh! What Was It Called?! It Was The Same Summer You Read Where the Heart Is. Come On! Remember! Do You Really Want to Die Before You Remember?!: YA novel, probably pubbed between 2006-2009, redhead main character, mean girl named Sterling. Time worth wasting until I puzzle this one out, I say!

4.) Utilize This Gif in Every Way Possible:

5.) Let’s Go Outside for a Bit. It’s Summer!: Yes, of course, getting the mail counts. Now, go!

6.) A List is Not a List Without Pinterest: Everyone loves Pinterest! And for good reason — that place is rife with inspiration. (I even have my own Cloudy board.) But Pinterest is possibly even more dangerous than Goodreads, because it’s basically a time-suck in research’s clothing. You may think you’re going in there to find the exact shade of Cloudy’s hair color, but you come out feeling hungry and kind of poor and — oh, Pinterest, I can’t stay mad at you! Now show me your kickass fat-free enchilada recipes.

By now you’ve probably realized that this blog post is 7.) Write a Blog Post About Procrastinating, I Mean, That’s Workish. And you’re right, you clever thing! So, it’s for the best if we end this, part ways for now, and get back to work, whatever that may be for you today.

I know. Sigh sigh sigh. It was fun wasting time with you.

Ooohh, but wait!

8.) Dance with Me! To This! For As Long As It Takes!: